Wednesday, September 26, 2007

A Few Words

Today I'm going to dedicate an entry to someone, a stranger. Someone who has been taken from this earth much too soon.

For those of you who don't know who she is, I'll explain. This girl's name is Nurin Jazlin Jazimin. She was eight years old, and the second of four daughters. Last August 20th, she went out to the night market to buy some hair clips, alone. She never returned.

Her parents and the police made every effort to find her, seeking help from everyone, including the public. But there were no leads as to her whereabouts. Her parents were especially worried because Nurin Jazlin suffers from kidney problems, and needs medical attention.

On September 17th, Monday, her body was found naked and stuffed inside a sports bag and left outside a shoplot not far from her home. Initially her parents couldn't identify her at the morgue, but the subsequent DNA tests concluded that the body was indeed Nurin Jazlin. Autopsy reports also discovered that she was sexually assaulted. (Out of respect for her, I won't give you the details.)

She wasn't supposed to go out alone that night. But she did, just this time, and it cost her. It cost her dear family as well. If anything, this tragic incident only serves to remind us of what we already know but usually forget. That evil exists right outside our doors. That it's not safe for any of us out there. That the worst things can happen to any of us at any time without warning.

I am not a parent, but I do feel sad and sympathetic for Nurin Jazlin's parents. This is certainly not the way they wanted their daughter to end up. I've been following the updates on this story, and her death has been felt by her family, friends and people across Malaysia. Everyone has been pouring in their condolences and support and prayers, and everyone including myself hopes that the monster responsible for this crime will be brought to justice soon.

My condolences go out to Nurin Jazlin's family, and I hope they will find peace as time goes by. I also hope that God has mercy on her killer, because when we finally catch up with him, we won't.

May you rest in peace, Nurin Jazlin. Amen.

(For more information on her story, visit

Sunday, September 16, 2007


Do you know how much a blood test costs? It's quite expensive. I got myself a blood test today, along with a urine test and an ultrasound. Why? Well, let's just say that I've been having doubts about my health this week, and I needed to be sure that I was okay.

The thing is, no one really knows how healthy they are. They may look and feel fine, but then again, there might be something lurking beneath the surface. Something they didn't know about. Something they didn't anticipate. And by the time it's discovered, it may turn out to be serious. So timing plays a big role in all this. You gotta know these things in advance, and the best way to do that is to have a doctor check you out. And you have to stop assuming that just because you feel healthy and live healthy, you're okay. You may not be.

I went to the cinema today and watched Fracture. Didn't quite live up to my expectations. I will write about it soon. Walked around the malls looking for stuff, but didn't find anything, though I was supposed to buy myself a new pair of shoes. As of right now I only have one pair, the pair that weighs a ton and hurts so much walking in them. The other pair gave out last Tuesday.

Been doing lots of thinking. And praying too. Don't know if it means anything, or if it'll make a difference later. The one thing I wish I could do, but can't at the moment, is get more sleep. I'm in that spell again, where I keep waking up at the wrong time. I hate that.

This week I also discovered the brand new trailer for the film that will kick off next year's summer blockbusters. It's yet another Marvel comicbook adaptation, and it really looks promising. Check it out, guys. God speed.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

The Hardest Things

You know, most of the time I can just do what I do, the routine stuff and be content with that. I can just keep myself busy and forget about my troubles. But it was so much easier back then. Now there are way too many things darkening the sky above me. Too many things to remind me what a difficult year it has been so far.

Waking up in the morning is hard enough. What would you expect from a guy who can't seem to sleep more than 6 hours a day? Not that I haven't tried. But it's just impossible. I wake up before I want to and can't go back to dreamland again, because once my brain's awake, it won't rest.

But you know what? Waking up isn't just about the sleep. It's about the realisation of what's to come. Which is going to work. Now, my job isn't bad, it's just this one person in my office who I have to put up with 9 hours a day. I can deal with the fussy, self-righteous side of her. It's just the mental instability that really bothers me. What would you do if your colleague started cursing and talking to herself? Man, wouldn't that make you lose focus? She needs help, seriously. And I don't even know if she's aware of what she has become.

That's not all. My mum is sick. The treatment is over for now. But the side effects from it still linger, and none of us knows when it will subside. Right now, I don't know which is harder: watching her not finish her food for the umpteenth time, or listening to her cough uncontrollably. I guess I'll have to keep praying for her, she's suffered enough already.

I was at the mall yesterday, doing what I love and trying to enjoy spending time by myself after a week at the office. And yet, life just won't leave me alone. Many things....incidents, faces, memories, all come at once to remind me about being alone. About not having anyone to be with. About all the people I have lost over time. It's all in the past, I know. But anyone who knows me will agree that the past and me are old friends. We never leave each other. We're inseparable, up to the point where it hurts so bad.

Right now, I don't really know where I'm going. Some will think I'm just beating myself up instead of being more proactive. The thing is, I am fighting for my life. I tell myself that every day. But I don't know if it's enough. Something's gotta give at some point. What do I do?

I really need someone to talk to. Badly.

Sunday, September 2, 2007


OK, so I've been busy in the past two days doing stuff. Stuff that would make me happy, but then when I think about it, I realise that it's not really happiness I'm experiencing. Just some distractions from the problems that plague my life right now.

But it's not bad at all to have these distractions. It helps me forget about the things that bring me down, even if only temporarily. I mean, if you knew what's been happening to my life in the past 8 months, you wouldn't be pleased either. You'd be depressed and constantly cranky and sad. That's what I've been like a lot.

So what did I do? I spent money. Yeah, I usually don't, because I know how necessary it is to save up. I have always wanted to save money to travel the world someday, but I figured it's not happening anytime soon (soon being defined as within the next year or so) so why not get some stuff I want? So I got myself some videos to watch. A wrestling PPV video, a Chinese movie titled SPL (which I've seen in the cinema, and it was brilliant) and the David Fincher serial killer film, Se7en. It's unfortunate I couldn't find the DVD for this movie, the quality would have been better.

Oh, and I watched two films at the cinema too. The Invasion, Nicole Kidman's new thriller about an alien virus, which was just so-so. And the animated film Ratatouille. Check out the trailer above, it's hilarious. The animation is great too. I recommend this film to anyone, no matter what age you are.

By the way, I've renovated FF, nothing fancy, but it's a nice change of scenery. New month, new look. Though FR will remain this way for a while. Have a good September.