Friday, March 20, 2009

Things

I arrived at work this morning as usual, only to learn from the security guard that one of the residents in the condo had jumped off his 14th floor unit to his death. He said that the police were already inside to check it out.

So I went in and walked straight to the scene. They hadn't put up the yellow line yet, so I was able to step within 10 feet of the body, which was already wrapped in a body bag. There was almost no blood around, though I did see some red stains on the floor. After listening to a few residents talking to the security and police, I found out who it was that fell. It wasn't someone I knew personally, but I had heard of him. There were problems between the condo management and him, things I'm not allowed to divulge here. Anyway, this incident marks the first time something like this has happened here in the condo.

This underlines the way this world has been turning lately. Look at how terrible things have made us feel either unsafe or insecure. There are crazed gunmen shooting at innocent people in America, and there was a case like that in Germany too last week. There's a father who raped his daughter for 24 years finally paying for his sins after being convicted in court. There's the high crime rate, wars, riots, economic downturn.....you name it. It seems the older this planet gets, the crazier we become.

The thing is, I don't exactly have the time to dwell on it all. I've got my own matters to deal with. I must say that my life is looking a little better every day. If I try not to worry too much and focus on what's important (my job being one of them), things will work out fine.

Two weeks ago I was on vacation, as you would know, if you have been coming here. I had wanted to post some pics in here, but then again why bother? If you know me, you'd probably be one of my Facebook friends, and you can just go there to look at them. Besides, no one really comes in here anymore.

I watched Watchmen last weekend. Great movie. Review is up on the other blog. It's a thought provoking film about humanity and morality from different perspectives. It's not for everyone to enjoy, I know this film has its shortcomings on the masses. But if you have 3 hours to spare, give it a try.

I'm going back to the cinema tomorrow. Take care, everyone.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Fatigue

I can no longer speak, or write this blog the same way I used to. Do you recall how I first started Familiar Refrain? It wasn't the best written blog there was, but back then I wouldn't hesitate too much, or be too lazy to put my thoughts down on it.

Now, what is there left to say or do?

Too much has changed. The status quo has altered. And what once was is no longer there. Even my readers have diminished, probably because I let them down, more so than this blog has. And because of that, I no longer have the enthusiasm to put my emotions into this thing, to tell you all what plagues my troubled mind.

What worries me is that my top concern at the moment refers to not being heard. I'd talk about that here, but no one will hear me, will they?

I'm so tired. Tired of the way things have become. And on top of that, I have so much to do, and every day it saps my strength. Takes me to the limit.

And there are still many people that I miss. I'm tired of feeling that way, but I refuse to let them go.

I have an upcoming trip in a few days. I doubt it will help change the way I feel now. At best, it'll distract me for a while. But there is only one cure for what I have. And it's beyond my reach right now.

Perhaps the only thing I can wish for at this point, is to have just a little bit of happiness that everyone else has. Then maybe feeling all this fatigue will be worth it.