Sunday, August 23, 2015

The First Of Many

As you can see, it's been a year since my last post. I wanted to keep this place alive as best I can, but every time I came up with an idea, I'd spend too much time playing around with it in my head until something more important to do came up, and I would abandon the idea altogether. It happened so often that so much time has passed.

The thing is, times have changed. I had quite a handful of readers when I first started out. Not enough to be called popular, but enough to know someone cared to know what I was thinking. Now, most of these people have left the blogging world completely. They have moved on to bigger things, pursuing what they perceive to be more important, or just wanting to leave their past behind. The problem is, everyone else changed, but I didn't.

I am pretty much the same person now as I was when I started blogging, save for the fact I added two more blogs to FR to address my passion for film watching. I'm still the same guy who ponders too much about the things that shouldn't matter while peering oh so often into the past, when he should know very well that it's the wrong thing to do. Perhaps in the last few years, I'm just not too keen on talking about myself anymore.

Well, I'm hoping to change that now.

The truth is, there's always a lot going on in my life, but I don't really know how to talk about it, or I do my best to fool myself into thinking that my resistance to change meant that everything is still the same and I just carry on day by day, only being concerned about the next day and so forth. That last part about me is true, because I've been through enough shit to know that planning for the future is just not for me. I've got enough to think about as far as figuring out what to do the next day or week is concerned, so I leave it at that and deal with each matter every day as it comes. Makes it easier.

But keeping all my thoughts in and pretending I'm happy with the world, while occasionally giving Facebook status updates on my business and well being isn't really healthy or progressive either. There has to be more. I'd like to think there's still someone out there who might take a minute or two to come back here and see if I'm okay. Or just catch up with what I'm up to, or what's bugging me lately. Or whatever.

Considering the fact that I'm still not that good a writer (don't let the fact that I have three blogs fool you), I don't know how often I'll be in here, how well I'll write, how much I'll say to you or even what I'm gonna talk about. But I do know that I want to start sharing again, even if there is only one person I know who may come in here to see what it is.

So let this entry be the first of many to come, hopefully.