My Day Off

I decided to take the day off from work today. I had been sick for the past two days, but I didn't take medical leave because I had work to wrap up. So here I am now, enjoying some relaxation time at home. I haven't taken days off like this in a long time, so maybe I really do need this.

Last night was weird, though. Been spending some time this morning thinking it over. About how some people can surprise you with their attitude. Not that it's a bad thing, but it kinda reminds you that not everything is smooth all the time. Sometimes, you enjoy things too much, and you assume it's all cool. Then it hits you, you realise things can go wrong and it does. But in a realistic sense, it is a good thing when this happens. It reminds you that reality isn't what it seems. Maybe it's just what you thought or hoped it would be, then it turns out it can get a little complicated too.

If I sound confusing to you, well....that's life. I don't have all the answers, though I'm sure a lot of us wish we did. It would be nice if we could see into the future and find out how our lives would turn out, and change the present as we see fit. No such luck for any of us, guess it'd be way too easy.

Anyway, another thing I was reflecting on was my attitude. I don't know, I seem to have this need to fix things. When something goes wrong or doesn't seem right, I'll try to make it better. But it isn't always easy, especially when other people are involved. Not everyone sees your point of view. And not everyone wants you to do anything about it. And more importantly, not everyone wants to change. The thing is, I've never forced anyone to do things they don't want to do. All I can do is encourage, explain or communicate. But I guess what worries me is this need I'm referring to. I can't fix everything, I know that. But I'm having trouble to let the need go. I pray I'm not obsessed just yet though. I'd like to believe I'm not.

If only it was easy to convince others that you mean well. Guess it isn't. But I haven't given up yet.

This Is Disconcerting

I just had a rather disturbing thought earlier today. I realised that as far as platonic friendships with the opposite sex are concerned, I fare better with the married ones. I didn't think about it until I re-examined my track record.

It seems the single women find me too odd to hang around too long. Or I'm just too boring to them. Yeah, that has got to be it. But hey, it's not like I'm trying to turn on the charm all the time. If they can see that, they would have understood that I'm just being friendly. That's it. No more or less. But recent events still seem to indicate that my sincerity doesn't show when I approach single women. They're always wondering what guys like me are up to.

What about guys, you may ask? Well, I would mingle with guys, but the problem is I'm not like most guys. I know I'm being a little narrow-minded with what I'm about to say, but in my opinion, most guys my age are either married or crazy about football. And I am neither. And most guys younger or older than me, people you can call adults, are pretty much the same.

Right now, the only guy I can think of who is unique like me, but in his own way of course, lives in Canada (and is probably gonna read this later). He's funny, but in a good way. He reminds me of me sometimes.

Anyway, back to the girls: why do they have to make it difficult all the time? One day they're nice to you, the next day they act like you don't exist. There's just no pleasing some people. If someone out there knows the secret to communicating with the opposite sex, please do let me know. I'm not desperate or anything, just curious. I'm always curious.

For A Friend

Today's entry is dedicated to a good friend of mine, who is celebrating her 19th birthday today. In her honour, I will post the lyrics to a song that in my opinion, best describes her. The song is To The Moon And Back by Savage Garden.

Happy Birthday my dear friend;)


She's taking her time making up the reasons
To justify all the hurt inside
Guess she knows from the smiles and the look in their eyes
Everyone's got a theory about the bitter one
They're saying, "Mamma never loved her much"
And, "Daddy never keeps in touch"
"That's why she shies away from human affection"
But somewhere in a private place
She packs her bag for outer space
And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come
And she'll say to him...

I would fly you to the moon and back if you'll be
If you'll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby?

She can't remember a time when she felt needed
If love was red then she was color-blind
All her friends they've been tried for treason
And crimes that were never defined
She's saying, "Love is like a barren place
And reaching out for human faith is
Is like a journey I just don't have a map for"
So baby's gonna take a drive and
Push the shift to overdrive
Send a signal that she's hanging all her hopes on the stars
What a pleasant dream...

I would fly you to the moon and back if you'll be,
If you'll be my baby
I've got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby?

Mamma never loved her much
And Daddy never keeps in touch
That's why she shies away from human affection
But somewhere in a private place
She packs her bag for outer space
And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come
And she'll say to him...

I would fly you to the moon and back if you'll be,
If you'll be my baby
I've got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby?

People

It's finally here. After 5 months of searching, hoping and waiting, I finally got it. The CD that I've been wanting for so long is finally in my possession. And it's all thanks to a very good friend who always comes through when I need her to. Thank you once more, lillesoster;)

She's one of those people I know I can count on. In our little crazy and unpredictable world, we need people. Yeah, you know the saying: no man is an island. We need friends, colleagues, family and even the good samaritan who's a stranger on the street from time to time, depending on the situation.

Yet sadly, the world is changing. And with that change, the people around you change too. Sometimes the good ones will leave you, maybe unintentionally. Sometimes it's deliberate, sometimes they just become the enemy all of a sudden.

Today I had to say goodbye to another colleague at the office. I seem to be losing a lot of good colleagues over the 3 years I've worked there. She and I weren't friends, but we talked whenever we passed each other, and she left a good impression on me. She was a polite and good-natured person, and that's enough to make me remember her after she's gone.

There are some people who you hardly had the time to know, but you somehow remember even after a long time. This brings me back to a girl I knew when I first joined the company. She was resigning in a month at the time, and it was her job that I would be doing. So she taught me everything, and helped me out whenever I needed it. And she always did it with a smile. That's what I liked about her. So it was very heartbreaking for me when I found out a month after she had left, that she had committed suicide. I am still uncertain as to what drove her to such a desperate act, but I felt sad, because she was a wonderful human being that didn't deserve that fate. I only knew her for a short time, but I was affected by it. I still think of her sometimes, whenever I hear her name.

I guess at the end of the day, we all need to know the right people. We need to know who to count on, who to keep close to our hearts and who to remember till the end. We also need to let them know how important they are to us. Sooner or later, the world will change the scenario, and people whom you thought you knew will just evolve and walk away. But I am glad that some people still haven't changed. And it is for them that I shall stay the same.

Memories

My friend was telling me yesterday about how she waited in line for 8 hours straight to meet our favourite artiste many years ago in her city. I was amazed to hear that, because I don't think I'd have the stamina to do that, even if I had been as young as she was at the time. But I do know that we both loved that artiste very much. That artiste was a delectable female duo from Norway called M2M.

Hearing her story reminded me of my first meeting with them. I went to the mall to meet them and get my CD inlay signed by them. I remembered that day quite well. There I was, surrounded by hundreds of people, all waiting for their chance to get up close and personal with the band. There was a lot of pushing and shoving with the security guards (I seriously don't know why that always happens at events like this) but finally I made it to the stage to see them in person. Unfortunately the moment went by so fast no words were exchanged between me and them. But I got a nice smile from one of them and I got my autograph. Mission accomplished.

It's sad for me to state now that that moment will never come again. Nine months after that day, they split and went their separate ways. Fifty days from today will be the fourth anniversary of the breakup. Time sure moves quickly, doesn't it? It almost felt like yesterday when I had gone to meet them at the mall and went to their showcase the following night. But now, things have changed so much.

They have each carved their own solo path. Each path is significantly different from the one they took together at the beginning. The fans have been divided somewhat, loyalty has shifted between them. But I guess it had to happen. The girls have grown up, and so their music and image has to evolve too. The good thing is their music now is still very listenable, which is testament to their immense talent.

I am glad I still have these memories of them. It helps keeping things in perspective as they continue to grow. And of course, good memories are always worth cherishing. If you have a memory of anything worth keeping, hold it close to your heart. You'll never know if you may lose it someday.