Sunday, September 6, 2015


It wasn't too long ago when I realised that I had developed a habit. The habit of not finishing something I started. Now, this doesn't really apply to all areas of my life. If it did, I'd probably lose my job by now. No, this relates to other things I had done, be it small or something a little more important.

For example, films. There are many films I'm unable to procure on DVD on this side of the planet, so Youtube becomes a solution somewhat. So I manage to find some of the films I'd been looking for on Youtube. I start watching but somehow I am never able to find the time to finish it. Either something important comes up or I just get too lazy to make the time to finish it. Then I try to find time to do it later but it just keeps getting delayed.

There was something else I tried to do but never finish: learn Mandarin. Due to my job I don't think I'll ever find the time for night classes or things like that, so I thought I could just learn myself and practise. So I went online, found a site and started learning the steps and words. I even printed some of the stuff for future studying, but haven't followed up on it. Considering I'm a banana (i.e. Chinese that doesn't speak Chinese), learning Mandarin would go a long way in helping me communicate with people. And yet, I dragged my feet on this too.

It kinda makes me wonder if I have a problem with how my life turned out. I know, I'm a sucker for looking over my shoulder and it's a bad thing. But when I look back, I know I should have done so many things I didn't do. Like choosing the right course to pursue after graduation. Like telling a certain girl how I felt about her. Like being more assertive in many things I'm not good at. Heck, I haven't even properly learnt how to look at people in the eye when speaking to them. I guess I just wasn't much of a risk taker. I played it too safe. And there's also my habit of sticking to routine. I can't forget that.

So what can I do? Guess the only thing I can do is try harder. An old friend once told me it's never too late to do something, and maybe it's time I took her advice. I don't know how much I can do at this stage of my life, but perhaps all it takes is persistence and starting with a few baby steps. I'll start with the Mandarin.   

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