Missing Persons

There are some people you meet in your life that changes everything. The kind of people that started a spark in your soul, the kind of people that helps make sense of the madness around you, the kind of people you won't forget. And for the past week I've only been thinking about this one person.

A long time ago, out of the blue, I got an email from someone. Someone I've never met before. She picked my name out of a guestbook and wrote to me for friendship. And thus began something that is both amazing and intoxicating. It's not a romantic affair, but it changed my life. Suddenly I realised that I could care about someone even if she was far away, and I could learn to trust that person with anything.

Yeah, I know. It all sounds too good to be true, doesn't it? But I guess some things defy logic. There are some things that you would put a lot of faith in, even if it is blind faith. It's because your heart says it's right, because it feels right. It's just like love between two people, but not exactly either. And it's because of her that my life changed, that I finally found a place that I could belong to if only for a while, that there's a place I could run to when the real world is so cruel. It was her who brought me here.

And yet it's both odd and heartrending that she hardly comes to this place like she used to, though I know it's not for lack of trying. There's just too much for her to do now, too much going on in her life. I worry for her, especially now. Now as she is facing her toughest obstacle, I wonder if there is anything more that I can do to help her. For now I can only offer words of comfort. She tells me that she'll be fine, and I shouldn't worry. But I always worry,and somehow she always manages to pull through. So perhaps she's right. And perhaps like I had mentioned in a previous entry, I can't save everyone.

But I can't help missing her. Strangely enough there are times when she's gone for so long that I don't think of her. But when I do, I start remembering the good old days when things were simpler and we didn't have a care in the world. When we could do what we wanted and everything was perfect. Times have changed, and sadly some people I know have changed too, but I'm glad to note that she hasn't.

The best thing I can do now is hope that time doesn't change too fast. But it feels like it already is.