What is the definition of that word? Someone once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result each time. That's rather accurate, but I'm not talking about that kind of insanity. I'm talking about the kind that drives you over the edge, the kind that keeps coming back to haunt you, the kind that makes you want to lash out at everything and everyone.
How would you feel if you woke up in the morning and felt pissed about something that shouldn't have made you upset? Or everything you look at doesn't seem right or fair? Or when people ignore you when you're standing right in front of them? Or when something so basic and obvious still seems incomprehensible to you? Or when you feel like you lost control of everything around you?
When I start feeling like this, the world inside my head starts to look a lot more appealing than reality. I'm a dreamer by nature, and I love my imaginations. They aren't always original, but they appeal to me. And sometimes they can get downright ridiculous. That's when I turn back to the real world and wake up.
But the past few days have been a little hard. How can it not be, when everything is so messed up that my mind starts to spin? Then the fantasy tries to take over. I've always been able to keep things real, always knew where the line is drawn. But I don't know, my imagination is starting to infect my head. I don't even know if that makes sense to you. Imaginations tend to help me forget reality's cruel hand. But I can't let myself get carried away.
I wish I knew all the answers. I wish I knew what's exactly bothering me. I wish I can just be invisible and watch everything happening before me. I'm sick in my head. And no matter how many times some people tell me that it will be okay, I just know this will come back again. Right now I envy people who have everything under control. Are any of them reading this?
10 comments:
I'm not someone who has everything under control, but I figured that you have to take care of yourself first and as soon as you have control of yourself to -some- point at least,things can get better. What I mean is, you need to make something out of yourself. Expressing yourself is already a good step,and I must say I like your blog-writing style. You should get yourself a hobby though to express yourself. I know you think you don't have anything but who knows...it doesn't have to be art or music,some people have a fish tank or a model railway. You have to sharpen your self-perception, be yourself and try to make life go the way you want it to go and not flow with it where ever it drifts you. It's hard to explain. No one can say they have complete control, but it matters that you don't give a damn about life sometimes and just do your own thing...to step out of every day life,sit down with something that's fun to do and get the power for everyday life. And from there, you get all the other things: A girlfriend,a great job, a house. Okay,maybe not all of them but some things should show up.
I completely agree with Michael.
He said it so well.
I don't have everything under control either, I'll never be able to get everything under control, because you can't control everything. Simple. lol.
But I have what he talks about : the hobby..or the place that lets me do my own thing, without anything else getting in the way. Because this is my thing and my thing alone! And I love it, it's my hobby, my interest :) And you know what? It's those things that never fails to get my mind of all the stress in my life and helps me relax and find the balance I need to face a new tomorrow.
I hope you'll be able to find a hobby storebror...maybe something totally new.. as long as it's fun and it keeps you so wrapped up in it, that hours pass and you forget the stress and worries you faced that day, because you had so much fun doing whatever it is you love doing. I hope you find it storebror. I wish I could help, but no one can find it for you. This is your search :)
I agree with Desi. She's right too. And I have to add that I feel unbalanced tonight,and I notice that my old hobby (music) doesn't satisfy me as much as it used to, or at least I can't find the passion for it at the moment. That's why I feel stressed. You see, it goes back and forth. There's a time when you don't notice any stress coz you get lost in your hobby, but when you can't use your hobby you feel frustrated again. Maybe you don't know what it means to feel good about a hobby coz you haven't found it yet, but you will and then you will feel the difference.
If you are picking up a hobby, just make sure it won't take away your life savings.
What is the definition of insanity? It's the opposite of being normal. But what is normal anyway? Therefore, my conclusion is, that word shouldn't exist, because no one is normal.
Usually, nothing is fair anymore. If you find something to be fair, treasure it.
Don't have anything good to say, so I'll stop here.
Yup, true, there's no definition of normal.
But normal is what feels normal to you. We compare and judge a situation and say it's either weird or normal based on what we're used to and think of as normal.
We all have a normality we live by. Most of the time anyway.
Life is far from fair. Life is far from easy and we all have to fight for the things that matters to us.
But that's life. No one promised us that it would be easy and fair. I just hope that for most of us, life will be worth it.
And I think, because this is true when it comes to me, that having a hobby, something you love doing, creates moments that makes it worth living :)
Maybe that is weird to you, but it's totally normal to me. lol =D
Kinda feels like we're taking over Aaron's place with all these comments.
I have no hobby, unless you consider just sitting there in front of the computer and reading weird news one
Is that what you do, Tom? Reading weird news? Interesting.
Taking over? haha. Nooo, we're here supporting Aaron :)
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