I'm not happy today. Something's bothering me. In fact, it's not just bothering me, it has grabbed me by the throat. With my perseverance, I can survive this. I know I can. But it's gonna be hard. It will be depressing for me for the next 26 days. But I guess I have no choice. In a way, it was partially my fault that it had to come to this. But I won't go down easy. This burden will not be the end of me.This morning didn't start well. I snapped when I shouldn't have. I should have been patient for another 30 seconds, but I wasn't. And I paid for it with some ill feelings I didn't need. Good thing I got over it quickly. This depression though will keep on coming back, threatening to make every situation seem gloomy and hopeless. So I focused on the work, it helped distract me long enough to survive today. Don't know how long it'll work, though. I just hope I won't end up being cranky in front of my colleagues. I don't need that.
Some more new blood came to the office today. Interesting. Too many people going, too many people coming in. But my attention was still somewhat trained on them. The ones I wanted to forget. But damn, it's hard. Yeah, I know. Let them go (Ira knows who haha). I can't afford to care about them anymore. I wish I knew what was wrong with me. And I wish this, because I still care for them. And I wish I knew why. But yeah, some things have to be left alone. Some questions have to be left unanswered.
I know I'm strong enough to face the oncoming storm. I've been depressed before, I know what it's like. I know what it's like when people you care about disappoint you. I know what it's like to feel alone with no one to turn to. And for a moment today, I felt that way. But sometimes there are some things I have to face alone. And I still have people to talk to, and draw strength from. I never go down without a fight. It's not over yet.
Go on, world. Hit me with your best shot.
2 comments:
Hola Storebror!
*As unpredictable as life is, it's hard to be happy all the time.
Things happen and we feel sadness.
Being sad and feeling upset, is just as important as feeling happy.
It's totally normal to feel any of these feelings. Sometimes you may even feel all of them at once. I know I have, hehe :)
And what I mean with important, is that I think it's important to recognize these feelings and understand that it is another part of life. A part we all go through, countless of times in our lives.
If we never got sad or never felt depressed, how would we ever recognize happiness?
*So whatever the problem is, it's nothing you can't overcome and maybe even learn something from.
Just take it as it comes, one step at the time, one day at the time.
A burden will only be a burden, if you let it be a burden. Think of it as a task. A bump in the road.
But don't walk around it, climb it. You can do it. Remember, I have faith in you :)
Climb it and beat it. And you'll see the light on the other side :)
*People we care about disappoint us sometimes. After all they are only human :)
But don't say that you are all alone :D You have friends that cares about you :)
REMEMBER IT! hehe :)
Glad i deg! Klemmer fra meg til deg!
TA VARE PÅ DEG SELV!!!
By the way, I changed the URL of my blog haha... into http://dessyrita.blogspot.com/
Just so you know!! thee hee!!
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