My Guide On How To Write A Movie Review

First, a disclaimer: I don't perceive myself to be the grand master of writing movie reviews, so you shouldn't consider me as such. But I've written quite a number of them, and though I don't feel like I'm the best writer out there, I certainly think I'm better than some people I've come across online. (And a lot of them are simply bad writers)

With that in mind, I've come up with some tips on how to properly write a review on a film you've watched. It's just a list of stuff, I'm not going to tell you how to structure your little opinion, but I will tell you what to do or not to do, and some things you'll need.


1. Have a good command of the language you're using
If you're going to write in English, then you better damn well have good command of it. I don't expect you to write like a professor, but you should have good grammar at least. I've come across reviews that were obviously written by people who don't speak English in their everyday lives. I don't mean to pigeonhole or be a racist or anything, but some of these people are usually referred to as 'Ah Beng' or 'Ah Lian' based on their grammar skills. If THAT'S how you're going to write, better for you to write in your mother tongue. (I know your teacher probably told you that practising your writing will help you improve, but if you're going to put your writing on display to the public, best not to do so)

2. Don't post so many pictures
Many online reviewers like to post pictures of the films in between paragraphs of their article. Two things: One, these pictures were most likely already posted by the film's marketing team earlier, so you're just showing what most of your readers have already seen. Two, your pictures are just making your article seem longer, and if your article isn't that long to begin with, it's going to look obvious that you're not that good a writer. Stick to two pictures per writing, and not more.

3. Use your own words
A lot of reviewers start their article with a synopsis i.e. a description of the film's plot in a nutshell. Most of these reviewers just copy it from the film's website or from Imdb. Again, two things: One, not using your own words makes you unoriginal and lacking creativity. Two, it makes you look lazy.

4. Don't post the film's trailer in your article
You know what's the best thing about the internet? You can find anything. Using Google and Youtube, anyone can find a trailer about any film they want to know about. So why do it for them? Again, this is yet another attempt to make your article look longer than it really is.

5. Be honest
This is quite hard to do actually. Even I had problems with this for the first few years I wrote reviews. There were times when I didn't have the heart to say that I was disappointed in a film I had high expectations for. Over the years, I got better and now I'm less afraid to speak my mind in my writings. Bottom line is, don't be afraid to say what you think.

6. Keep it real
Using humor to make your review more interesting is okay. A funny review is better than a boring one. But tone down the jokes. I've seen people make Instagrams and memes to make fun of the film they're talking about, and to me, that's too much. Even if you don't like the film, you should have some respect for it. Throwing a joke or two by referencing pop culture is fine, just don't overdo it.

7. Get your facts right
Somewhere along the way, you'll want to reference information in talking about your movie. It's vital that you get your facts straight. Make sure you know them and state them correctly, if you're uncertain, look it up. Imdb and Wikipedia are good sources of information to go to.

8. Use a rating system
This is arguably the best way to tell your readers if a movie is good or bad. It will also be useful for certain lazy people who don't want to read your supposedly lengthy article. Either use a 5 star rating or a 10 star rating to tell them where you stand.

9. No useless information please
There was this guy who posted his review on Facebook, in a movie review group no less. I read it, and it turned out to be a personal blog entry on how he spent his day, from how he met his friends and decided to go watch that movie, to meeting a girl along the way etc. And when he finally got to the part where he had to talk about the movie, he gave two sentences and a rating. And that was it. Aaaannnnnnnnddddddd this guy wants to post this to a movie review group's wall? Seriously? I bet you can tell that I don't give a damn about his extracurricular activities, and he just wasted my time. Guys, please stick to the point at all times.

10. Don't be biased
As far as possible, don't walk into a film with a pre-decided opinion on its quality due to who's directing or starring in it, or what genre the film is. If you do, you probably won't give it a fair shake. This is why I usually stay away from films that I know deep down I won't enjoy. Over the years I've developed a way to be as fair as possible to all films I watch, even if it was bad. This is reflected by my ratings, which is rarely extremely leaning in one direction.


Lastly, a piece of advice. Something every reviewer must have. Passion. All writers must have passion in their work, no matter what their subject is. So you, as a reviewer, must have passion to do what you do. I know what it's like to not want to write my opinion on a movie even when I have it in my head. It's the timing, or the mood, or something else. I have missed out on a handful of opinions in the past, something which I intend to get back to and write about at some point. The point is, if you have the will and passion to put your opinion out there, then do it. If you don't think you can do this over and over again, then don't do it.


And that's about all I can share. I'll still say I'm no expert, so don't take my words as law. But this is what I think you should do, and if you do it right, you'll be great in my book. Or better perhaps. 

Noticing Things

As far as this year is concerned, I've noticed certain things about stuff. Stuff I do, observe, experience, or even stuff that has no real relation to me. You can call it stuff to put on a blog for all I care, but here goes:

1. My computer always slows down on Saturday night. It has a habit of slowing down a lot, but Saturday night is when it's at its worst. It probably has something to do with my anti-virus program and their update or scan settings. I have tried adjusting them before, but it's still like that. It's annoying to have your computer slow down so much you can't even click on something without having it stall.

2. I work better with music on. This is especially true when the task is simple but time consuming, like keying in entries on a computer. If there's one thing that can make tasks like that more difficult for me, it's noisy people, and it can get like that at the office. So one day, I put on my earphones, plugged it into my phone and played the tracks on it. I ended up finishing my work twice as fast than in the past when I didn't have music on.

3. I get nervous before going on vacation. Vacations should be relaxing, but I somehow always come close to losing my mind before it's time to go. Well, I usually hate the travelling part and going somewhere takes me out of my comfort zone i.e. familiarity. But I'm happy to report that my last vacation was good, and I usually am calmer by the time the vacation's over. (Note to self: never go to an island known for scuba diving because you can't swim)

4. Lots of people smoke in the morning. Why is that? I don't know, really. Why would people think about lighting up just hours after waking up? It's stupid. And where I work, and yeah, even live, every other person is a smoker. It still baffles me, why people are so eager to kill themselves and others around them.

5. People still bring kids to the cinema. And I mean kids who are too young to understand what's happening on screen. I mean, if your child still sits in a pram, do you really think it's a good idea to take him to watch a Spider-Man movie? Of course not. So when your kid starts crying over and over, take him/her outside and don't bring him back in. Ever.

6. People you thought you knew well don't really like you as much as you figured. I learned this one this week. But it's no big deal, I probably wouldn't have been excited about meeting this person anyway. But then, I kinda thought this person was cool with me. Guess not. 


That's all for now. I've got another list planned soon. Probably bigger than this.

What I'm Doing

Listening - Lorde



Lorde, born Ella Yellich O'Connor, is a 17 year old girl from New Zealand who is making waves in the pop music world. Although she has built a reputation pretty fast for making snide comments about Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus (but really, who could take those girls seriously anyway?), no one can deny she has a great voice and excellent writing skills. Her breakout hit Royals is one of my favorite songs at the moment. I tried listening to her other songs, and this one I've posted, Buzzcut Season, is really nice. This is the kind of song I can just play and chill out.

Reading - Captain America

Everyone knows or has a general idea of who Captain America is, and how he stands for truth, justice and the American way. But what happens if you take him out of his comfort zone and put him in a world he doesn't recognize? That's what writer Rick Remender does in this reboot of the Captain America comicbook.

For this story, Remender puts Cap in another dimension, courtesy of his arch nemesis Arnim Zola. Cap not only has to survive there with no means of getting back home, but also look after and raise a young boy he saved from Zola.

Remender has a reputation for putting his main characters in really dire situations, so this will be interesting, to say the least. I'm not excited however about John Romita's art, even though the guy's pretty well known as an artist (I'm just not a fan I guess), but I think this story arc will be worth reading, even though I'm only two issues in so far.

Watching - The Following

Retired FBI agent Ryan Hardy is called in to help recapture serial killer Joe Carroll, whom he had put behind bars nine years ago. Carroll was a university lecturer who is in love with death and considers Edgar Allan Poe his hero. Carroll had killed 14 women before Hardy finally caught him. But now that Carroll has escaped, Hardy and the feds have a new problem.

See, Carroll has built a cult during his incarceration. He has his own set of fans, made up of people from all walks of life, who are similarly fascinated by death and killing people. People who had visited him in prison. People who are willing to do his bidding when he says so. And because they're an assortment of people, they're tough to differentiate, and worse, some of them are skilled people who can infiltrate law enforcement, hack computers and are military trained too.

So now Hardy has his hands full trying to catch Carroll while saving as many victims as he can, but the bodies keep piling up, and it seems Carroll has a large number of people in place to help him stay one step ahead every time. To make things more complicated, Carroll's ex-wife Claire was romantically involved with Hardy, and she's desperate to get back her young son from Carroll, who had him kidnapped, thanks to the follower he had planted as the babysitter.

The show's first episode was excellent, as it threw many twists and turns, and by the end of it, I wanted to see where these guys could take it. However, as the show ran along, I noticed the main flaws of the series. Firstly, in their attempt to keep things unpredictable, they constantly reveal people who are not who they say they are initially. It happened so often that pretty much every other person that is introduced to the show is a cult follower, and it got more and more ridiculous as it went along. Secondly, the feds are more often than not, portrayed as incompetent, because they always let the bad guys slip away from them, or they're unable to sense that the person they're dealing with is a Carroll follower.

Apparently writer Kevin Williamson wrote Ryan Hardy based on Jack Bauer from 24, and I can certainly see the similarities between the two shows. Hardy is someone who takes a lot of emotional punishment for his failures, and is a broken man at the start of the show. At the very least, his character is well written as I keep rooting for him, wanting him to get some small victory in each episode.

Despite the flaws, I'm invested in this series, and I'm waiting to see the last three episodes this week just to see how it ends. A new season is on the horizon, so lets hope things pick up then.

Comics

Out of all the things I love in life, there are two that I've been a part of for more than a decade or two. Watching movies is one. Reading comicbooks is the other.

I got my first taste of comics when my nephew (who is oddly enough a year older than me) introduced me to the X-Men when I was in my early teens. He was into it because of the artwork by the great Jim Lee. But for me, I became a fan of comics from that point on, and it's been over twenty years since then.

Most folks who enjoy reading prefer books, like novels and the like. But for me, comics are far more fascinating. Unlike a novel, where the story usually ends on the last page, a comic keeps the story going to the next issue, and the next, and so forth until that story arc ends, then it makes a new one, which means a new situation to put its heroes in. And best of all, it has the art for the reader to admire.

Comics are at its level best when both the story and art are perfect and they compliment each other well. It's rare for that to happen at times, as one element may be much stronger than the other. Even so, the comic can still be enjoyable, as long as it has decent quality overall.

Over the years, I've read so many titles, from X-Men to The Avengers, from Iron Man to Spider-Man, from Superman to Batman, from Wolverine to Daredevil, from the Justice League to the Fantastic Four and the list goes on. Some stories stick with you, some just pass you by and forgotten. I must admit there have been more forgettable ones than memorable ones, but rarely has there been a time when I totally hated the stuff I was reading. More often than not, each title has a redeeming quality of sorts (except the one featuring Wolverine's son, which was a bore).

Some of my favourite stories are still somewhat fresh in my mind, like the story where Dr Doom almost beat the Fantastic Four because he used sorcery and not science to outwit Reed Richards, or the X-Men ceasing to exist after Professor Xavier's son went back in time and accidentally killing him, or Daredevil dealing with the revelation of his secret identity to the public, or Captain America assassinated, or the what if scenario where the villains won and only Wolverine is left alive. So many stories stand out over the years, a part of me wishes I had the time to read those stories again.

But now, I'm facing a problem. I've been taking in too many books as of late. Space has now become an issue, so I'm working on selling some comics that I can do without. I'm not overly concerned with how much I can get for them (theoretically comics appreciate in value over time), I just want to let them go to make way for new ones. And there are tons of new ones.

The other problem is the fact that comics are a dying business, in Malaysia anyway. While the US and other western countries thrive on the comic business, especially with so many superhero films coming out lately, comic book shops here have been struggling. We still have many readers, it's just that some of them have not been collecting their orders, it seems. I still wonder why that is. If this keeps up, people like me may have to read collected trade paperbacks (compilation of issues) to keep up. And as organised as that sounds, it's just not the same as holding one thin comic book in your hands, reading it, getting to the end and eagerly waiting to buy the next one when it comes out.

I don't know if I'll ever stop reading these things. Sometimes I feel a burden just having them around me in my room. But there's a part of me that still loves and craves for them. Maybe someday. But not yet.