Hello sir, can I help you?

I love window shopping. That's the one thing I can do to kill time, just wandering around the mall looking at stuff, considering which is worth buying, and which isn't. But window shopping for clothes, that's another story.

Usually I'd just walk into a store and look at the stuff, and buy something if I want it, and leave the place if I don't. It's that simple. And I like it like that. But clothes? No, there are complications. Somehow, most clothing stores have really super helpful staff that will go out of their way to give you a hand.

They start with that question, and that's all it takes to rattle me. Yeah, I know. It's weird for me. I hate it when they come up to me the second I walk into their premises and ask that question. And being the nice guy that I am, I'd just smile and say "just looking." And that's when I feel guilty. It's like when they ask, you're supposed to tell them what you're looking for, so that they can help find it and you can buy it from them. I know there's no obligation on my part to do that, but this whole process makes it feel like I do. I mean, why tell them what I'm looking for if I'm not really sure about buying anything? Like I said, I'm just looking. If I tell them I'm just looking, I may end up looking like someone who can't afford their merchandise, or I have other plans, like robbing them or something.

So why can't these people just leave me alone? Just let me walk in, look around and take my time. If I want your help, I'll ask. If I don't, I'll just walk out. Maybe I'll come back, maybe I won't, but it's not their problem. That works for me. I know, I know. The super friendly staff are there for a reason. They're supposed to serve us customers, including acting really nice when you walk in. It's all part of the customer attraction process. But please, if I could tell them I don't want their help without feeling bad or having it come out insensitive, I would. This is why I love going to the video store. I could browse there for hours and nobody gives a damn.

These days it's hard for me to find anything in my size. For a guy, I am rather small. I do know I'm taller than Ira and Anouk (at least I think I am). Most of the clothes I find are too large. I guess I should eat more. I should talk to Michael about this.

So excuse me while I heal from this cold. Crap, I'm missing everyone again.

What A Wonderful World

For a good part of today, I was humming this song. What A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong. It was playing during the end credits of the film Twelve Monkeys. This film is about a convict from the future who travels back in time to 1996 to stop the release of a deadly virus that is destined to wipe out 5 billion people on earth. Bruce Willis, Madeleine Stowe and Brad Pitt all put in excellent performances for it. I shall write a review on this for FF as soon as I can.

It's odd and also ironic that director Terry Gilliam chose this song for the film, since the world in his movie is anything but wonderful. It often looks bleak, apocalyptic and pretty much on the brink of self-destruction. Perhaps the song was meant as the perfect antithesis for his story.

And in a way, the song may hold a lot more meaning in our world today. The world is anything but a sane or safe place to live. Chaos and discord are everywhere. We have hostage situations, terrorism, separatist violence, earthquakes, war and a murder of a cricket coach. The earth is not a nice place to live anymore. But I guess it's been that way for a long time. In my opinion, the main reason for all this happening is mankind's own selfishness. We care too much for ourselves, and we hate others for fear of them taking away what's ours. The thought of sharing scares some people to a point where they have to do what they think is necessary to survive. And this usually involves violence or injustice of some kind, and quite often the wrong people suffer for it. The world has become too small for us to live in together, and now a lot of people want to kill each other so that they can go on existing.

But perhaps someday mankind can evolve and be better than they are now. Someday perhaps they will live for the pursuit of knowledge, instead of wealth. And by then, the need for war and destruction will finally come to an end. Yeah, I know this all sounds like Star Trek. I am a dreamer after all. But it might come to pass, we just won't be around to see it when it does. And then finally, what a wonderful world it would be.

(There's a new addition to this blog, I'd like to thank Ira for helping me make my choice.)

Starting Over

It's hard. It's always been hard actually, but I rarely remember the feeling until it comes. I don't know if that makes sense, but let's just say I haven't been in good spirits as of late. I'm letting something bug me for too long, and try as I might, I can't seem to shake it off. The only way to get over it, is to move on and do the only thing that seems right. It's hard for me, though to most people it is quite simple. I know that it can feel quite humiliating, but I've really given up on understanding why I feel this way, so I'll just accept the fact that it exists within me and deal with it.

I'm doing better now than I was last week, as some other things took shape. A couple of my friends have returned to the online life, at least momentarily. I got some good news at the start of this week, and for the most of the past 5 days, I was able to keep my emotions in check. I really needed that.

But there are a few other things that got my attention. Friends in need, for starters. I may have problems, but that never blinds me from other people's troubles. Sometimes I wonder if I'm a walking trouble magnet, hopefully not. But if a friend of mine needed help, I would be right there. What else? Oh, my mind seemed to wander on a certain someone I had an affection for. I don't know why that happened, perhaps I thought of her in an attempt to sidestep the worries that still eat away inside of me. When she's on my mind, I can imagine being at a better place and feel at ease. Of course it's unfortunate that it's only as real as my mind will allow it to be, but for a few moments I can feel free and tranquil, and not think about wrestling with my demons.

And then there is that picture. That is the cover to Captain America #25. In case you haven't heard, Marvel decided to kill him off. So he's dead, after existing in comicbooks for 66 years. I had visited the forums at the Marvel website, and noted that tons of fans are angry and sad to see their favourite hero gone. He truly was an icon. But I do know he'll be back somehow, it's just a matter of time. The one thing that's constant about comicbook characters is the fact that they never really die. Sooner or later, someone will bring them back from the grave. And when you think about it, wouldn't you want to do that at some point in your life? Just end it and start over, when it gets too hard for you to go on? Too bad we can't do that ourselves, our lives are sadly more real than imaginary. But that doesn't mean we can't do something about it. Perhaps that's why we exist.

Free Time

What's up, everyone? I've had a lot of time off this week, thanks to the Lunar New Year. Which is good, I think I seriously needed the R & R after the hectic week I had before. My new year was kinda quiet, but it's probably better that way. I'm gonna enjoy it while I can, because it's almost over now.

I went to watch Ghost Rider a few days ago. It was quite good, but it could have been better. I was glad I watched it though, considering all the really awful stuff they play at the cinemas these days. Makes me want to move to Singapore, they have everything there. I will write a review on this film and put it up on FF soon.

Speaking of which, I used up some of my extra time to write a few new reviews for FF. I had abandoned it for a long time, but not intentionally. It takes inspiration to write for FF, and I need free time as well to think of how to write it and to actually write them. So thanks to the holidays, I managed to write 3 reviews in 5 days. Which is not bad at all.

Then there is of course this blog, which now I'm finally able to update with something. Check out the video, it's probably the coolest trailer I've seen so far this year. Well, at least till they release the official trailer for the Pirates Of The Carribean sequel, I'm guessing haha. Enjoy.